You know what really stinks? I think besides eating (maybe playing sports) my favorite thing to do is also the thing that gets me in the most trouble. I love to talk. It’s a little hard to admit because it sounds annoying, but it’s true.

A walk with friends is wayyy more enjoyable than just a walk. A chat over coffee is far superior to a solo cup of joe. A car call can make the time in route go so quick. I once ran a ½ marathon, and the pacer I ran with told me that I should be a pacer someday…because I talked the whole time.

Of course I love conversing more than just talking. I don’t make a practice of talking to myself, but when given the option between silence and a chat, I choose the chat.

When you say a lot though, other things start happening.  You’re far more likely to say words that pinch people in the underarm or finger poke them in the chest. Worse still– is when words slip out that stick like burrs in you little kid’s hair and stay in their minds for much longer than you realize.

I still remember some of the harsher words, the careless words, spoken to me or about me as a child. Of course, a child is pure magic. A child’s desire for connection supersedes all, and forgiveness comes easy. But not so much for adults. I think that’s why we’ve learned to hide from saying the hard thing, the true thing. Unwanted words can wreak havoc on relationships, even if they are true and fair.

Sometimes, I’m proud of myself for saying the hard things. Sometimes, my friends say, “it’s so good you can be honest,” but sometimes I just need to stuff some chocolate in my mouth and be quiet when I’m feeling grumpy. And online, I don’t need to share an opinion and sometimes I don’t know enough to form one (and that’s ok)!

So even though I tell myself this isn’t a food blog…today I made jam bars, and I kept my mouth shut.

There were things… angry words I wanted to send out of my head into phone of someone I love. I took time. I thought a little and even though they’d feel good taking shape on that bright screen, they are the sort of words that linger like a bitter taste, infect the whole space around you.

So instead, I moved my body. Instead, I made hot crunchy bacon for my kids. Instead, I simmered last summer’s strawberries (from my freezer) until the dense, sugary smell filled the entire house. I slathered that jam on an oat-y crust from some internet recipe and sat there in the kitchen eating one giant jam bar, writing this.

I don’t know if I should make a practice of eating instead of saying something mean, but gosh, it was great.

I filled my home and mouth with sweetness instead of bitterness. I forked up a big bite of something lovely instead of forking my loved-one in the ribs.

I hope I do this more. I hope you do. With your people, your community, your little corner of the internet. Be sweet. Or if you can’t be, make sweets, and be silent.

Thanks for reading friend.

Verses that came to mind:

Be slow to speak, quick to listen, and slow to anger James 1:19-20

Can fresh water and saltwater come from the same spring…? James 3:11-12